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LIKE DAUGHTER, LIKE MOTHER

 

By Stefhen Bryan

 

Saturday/Sunday, February 7-8, 2009.

 

Editor’s Note: Sexually explicit. This is an extract from the  newly-published book, Black Passenger, Yellow Cabs You can get a copy of the book at http://www.blackpassenger.com/

 

"It's too big," she said. 

 

After which I introduced my palms to her breasts, caressing them beneath her blouse, while kissing her lips. Nervous, lips quivering, she reciprocated awkwardly by slightly opening her mouth, then as she started trembling, I expertly undid her bra and raised her blouse to reveal her still perfect, beautifully shaped Mount Fuji. Hardly a wrinkle in sight, like many Japanese women her age, she was well preserved and when I placed my mouth on her dime sized nipple she gasped, grew more nervous and began to tell me in her skeletal English that, she had not had sex in twenty years. Hadn't even been touched, not even a hug since 1982.

 

In the west, no sex is grounds for divorce and the only time I had heard any such tale of a sexless marriage, was from a fifty three year old African American woman in Southern California. Sexy and vivacious like Ai's mother, Dorothy looked about forty, with a most beautiful crown of silver hair. Difference being, her husband had been ill for fifteen years, but we met and on a few occasions fulfilled her needs. However, shortly thereafter, having been a Christian and very active in the church, she was eventually consumed by guilt and overpowered by the shame she thought would have followed had her thirty year old daughter discovered her affair, especially with a man her daughter's age.

 

In Dorothy's case, sexless for fifteen years but maintaining the marriage was quite understandable. But in Ai's mother's case asexual for twenty years while still married to a physically functional man was beyond my grasp especially with her being so libidinous. New to Japan, I had not learned of the sexless tendencies in marriage.

 

Ai's mother told me her husband for the last umpteen years returned home drunk in the wee hours of the morning from work, only to be up at six to do it all over again. Indeed this experience was echoed by most of my married female students. Japanese society, consequently most Japanese men unfortunately, still subscribe to the notion that the corporation is family, benevolent in nature and therefore of greater significance than real family. The motto might as well be: Until death do we work.

 

The Japanese, whose workforce consists overwhelmingly of men, toil inefficiently long hours. Thirteen hours a day, six days a week is the norm and sixteen hour days, seven days a week is not uncommon. In addition, the amount of unpaid overtime is criminal. As a result, Japan is the only society where dieing of overwork is a phenomenon for which they have even coined the word 'karoshi'. Until recently, Japanese was the only language with a word specifically for dieing of overwork. However, the Koreans, with a workforce even less efficient and more grueling than the Japanese's, have since adopted the word in their vernacular.   A group of attorneys organized in 1990 to monitor karoshi in Japan, concluded that up to 2004, karoshi annually takes the lives of over ten thousand people, many literally at their desks clutching their keyboards.

 

Among the dead is a former student of mine who worked for a very large electronics firm where I taught.   Only twenty seven years old at expiration, he had started his death career as company slave at twenty two, where since his debut at this extremely ginormous firm, had worked sixteen hour days until his death by heart attack.   A prime example of Japan's many paradoxes is a 2004 Office of Economic Development report that Japan had the eleventh most efficient workforce in the world, behind Thailand and Italy. Italy! Who could have a more inefficient workforce than Italy? In Italy, if you mailed a letter to your neighbour just one floor below you, it may take two weeks to arrive, maybe even longer if it's being mailed to an upstairs neighbor. 

 

More recently, according to a 2006 Japan productivity centre's report, after adjustments for price differences, among the 30 member OECD countries, Japan ranked 19th in labor productivity in 2004.   Contrary to the West's perception of Japan as a high-tech haven, is the fact that Japan's IT investment grew only 90% between 1995 and 2004, in comparison to over 300% respectively in Britain and the United States during the same period.  

 

In stark opposition to the West's image of Japan, corporations the likes of Toyota and Cannon represent a precious small percentage of Japanese firms which are operated efficiently.    Westerners arriving here are easily bedazzled by advanced cell phones and heated toilets and presume that all of Japan is more technologically advanced than the west.   However the fact is much of Japan's application of technology appears to be for gadgetry as opposed to creating significant improvements in quality of life, or bringing efficiency to work.  

 

 In the words of Darren Huston, president of Microsoft Japan, "There is a tremendous opportunity to increase worker productivity in Japan with Information Technology."   Huston noted in July 2007 that many Japanese companies "rely on piecemeal collections of personal computers and often have only one or no central server."   Weeks later the Japanese government was moved to launch a task force to boost labor labor productivity, focusing on efficiency through Information Technology.

 

Which begs the question, why do the Japanese work themselves to the grave, or more accurately, to the crematorium? The answer lies in their socialization. Whereas organisms, especially humans and especially western humans seek to maximize pleasure and minimize pain, the Japanese from thousands of years of programming seek to do the opposite, cultural tendencies on which businesses and political leaders capitalize.

 

During the Manchurian war in the nineteen thirties, the government embarked on a campaign to gain the support of the masses, purporting benevolent family status. Corporations seized on this ideology after the war and the absurd idea of lifetime employment was born. Japanese leaders after World War II, set annual GDP goals and implored the nationals to persevere at all costs to meet these goals.   Sex within matrimony was among the casualties of this policy.  

 

A study by the United Nations in 2002 found that Japanese couples had sex an average of thirty six times per year, while the American average was a hundred and ten times per year. More recently, in 2005 the Durex-sponsored survey revealed that the Japanese were the world's least amorous, coming, pardon the pun, dead last at an average forty-five times a year. Greece was the busiest, at one hundred thirty-eight times a year. Japan is an island of sexually frustrated women, especially those in middle-age, waiting to be pleasured by foreigners the likes of me.  

 

Fact is, the institution of marriage equals gross neglect for women in general in Japan, whether young, old or middle aged.   Common knowledge in the west is that women are in their sexual peak toward middle age, as opposed to men, who peak in our late teens to twenties. Well except for I who have peaked in my thirties in Japan.   However, in Japan, sex starved middle-aged women are neglected in vast numbers and the richer they are the more neglected, as their husbands are more dedicated to their companies.   The Japanese male is defenseless to his company's demands to relocate him and separate him from his real family.

 

Tanshinfuni, the practice of companies relocating the husband away from his family, though unimaginable in the west is a Japanese norm.   In many cases such arrangement can continue for years or indefinitely, though in less painful cases the man returns home only on weekends but stays in the company dormitory during the week. Which of course leaves their wives wide open – again, pardon the pun - to foreign men like me. On many occasions the castrated Japanese husband knows his wife is getting pleasured by an outsider, but chooses to ignore it, in some cases supporting it. In the west this would be perceived as ceding one's manhood, but here in Japan the perception of manhood and masculinity runs counter to the western idea.

 

Western men equate manliness with the ability to please one's wife and indeed, western women expect to be pleasured. In fact, less than stellar performance on the man's part, especially if she is Jamaican or African-American would result in ridicule and serious bad mouthing within the community. On the other hand, it seems manliness is defined in Japan by the ability to neglect one's wife, which leaves a staggering amount of women starving for attention. According to an article entitled by Stanley Rosenman, which appeared in the Journal of Psychohistory, among all civilized countries, Japan has the highest rate of mother son incest, a further testament to the widespread and sheer sexual frustration of many married Japanese women, middle aged or otherwise.

 

During their sons' periods of stress, especially during Japan's examination hell, it is documented that some mothers are even known to stimulate their sons to orgasm, or engage in sexual activities with them under the pretense of easing their tensions.   As a result, mazacom or mother complex, where a man is abnormally attached to his mother, even after he is married, is a staple in the Japanese vernacular.   This is one of the many gross dysfunctions in Japanese society packaged under the auspices of culture.   Of course, being the equal opportunity yellow fetish sex addict that I was, I was only too happy to do my duty and come to the rescue of as many of these women, young and middle aged, as I could.

 

I had quickly brought Ai's mother to orgasm twice with my fingers and it seemed she came in litres, releasing twenty years of pent up frustration. But her shrubbery, like that of a great majority of Japanese women I've been with, was unkempt and over grown.   Requesting the scissors, I assumed the position of forest ranger, clearing the jungle till I could see the valley in which I would descend.

 

To be continued next weekend.

 

Stefhen Bryan can be reached at fitzdec@gmail.com

 

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