Advice from a virgin veteran
By Shirley Vincent
There is nothing wrong with being a virgin. As a matter of fact, I think it's kind of cool being a virgin and remaining one for as long as you want to be one and for whatever reasons you may have to being one.
Remaining a virgin for whatever reason is a personal choice - be it
religious, traditional (the list goes on), it's your choice whether you are male or female.
It's your body and your decision. I believe that what you do with
your body is your personal choice and no one else will have to answer for what you do to it, except you.
As long as you don't feel guilty afterwards or pressured into having sex and the choice to step out of "virginhood", then the state of being a virgin is yours and there should be no problem or conflict of interests, moral, values or whatever.
To the virgins out there: all I have to say is more power to you. Be proud and don't feel ashamed about being a virgin. Don't feel guilty or left out that your friends are having sex and you're not.
It may sound easier said than done, but be strong in your convictions.
When I was a raging proud virgin, my response to rny sexually active friends and relatives whenever they would ask why I was still a virgin would be such that I was rarely or seldomly teased as a result about still being a virgin at 18 years of age.
What did I say? Well what I said varied with the person, circumstance and whether I wanted to go into detail with them or not.
My comments ranged from "I'm waiting until I get married" or "Only the man I found worthy of my body, mind and soul would make me want to..." or "I'm saving it for the man I love and when the love is mutual".
When a virgin talks about sex and having sex, that means she wants, or is anxious to lose her virginity?
I think not! That goes for anyone who talks about sex. Make the wrong assumption about someone's conversation and you make an ass-out- of-yourself.
For example, when I was a virgin, there where times when I spoke like a teenager that was sexually active. There were times when men would not believe that I was a virgin nor ever experienced a French kiss.
I have never regret a moment of the anticipation of my first kiss with the guy I really, really, really liked.
Talking about the sexual experience and other sex talk is outside the
realm of virgins, so they shouldn't be discussing it with sexually active people.
Not really. Like George Michael said in his song, I want your sex:
"Sex Is natural...sex is good.
not everybody does it...but everybody should.
Sex is natural...sex is fun...
sex is fun when it's one on one."
That goes for talking about sex, it should be natural to those who are
comfortable with their own sexuality. Meaning: If you were taught that sex was "bad" or "nasty' and should be discussed behind closed doors in a hush-shhh manner or you were taught to be ashamed about sex, talking about it would seem naughty or taboo.
Warning to virgins:
Do not live vicariously through your friend's sexual lives to compensate
or make up for the one you don't have. If you are proud to be one then stand tall and remain that way,
To the virgins out there; be careful how you flaunt your virginity before sexually hungry men, because they may just take it - before you're willing to give it up.
Shirley Vincent is a student at Rutgers University, New Jersey, USA.
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