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Beware of those who use God's name in vain


By Rev Rahelio Soleil


If you're sick as I am about the alarming monopoly the right-wing has on Jesus Christ thesedays, you'll understand the need to point out a simple fact: Republicans are not really Christians.


You can't serve two masters, lest you end up hating one and loving the other. Republicans love George Bush more than Jesus, they love war more than peace, and they love money more than...well, love.


They moralize with great effect, even pointing out who is "Godless" and who is saved. They sit in mega-churches and listen to pastors who support their un-Christian, materialistic prejudices, but this religion they practice is humanist, not Christian. They are in this world, and of it, something every true Christian knows to avoid.


Jesus talked mostly about grace, mercy, love, patience, kindness, peace, self-lessness, and we are asked to follow him, imitate him, and put no concerns before him. If we collect all the words, deeds, and ideas of Republicans, they would never sound, look, or act like Jesus. In fact, they would sound quite a bit like the double-tongued false prophets were were warned to look out for.


There are many reasons that Republicans are not Christians. We don't have the time to count them all. So, I offer you just 10 good reasons Republicans are not Christians.


1. You shall have no other gods before me

It's clear that Republicans have many gods before the Lord. Most notably, the god of Money. Republicans think money, markets, and capitalism supercede grace, the Holy Spirit, and Religion. Adam Smith is a bigger profit....um...prophet than any biblical figure. Check the number of times that a Republican mentions Jesus Christ versus the number of times they allude to Ronald Reagan or George Bush as the saviors of America. You'll find that Jesus is a pinch hitter, Reagabush hits the homers.


2. You shall not make for yourself an idol, whether in the form of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth


Whether it's the diamond studded crucifix around Ann Coulter's pencil neck or the stone monument of the 10 Commandments that Republicans toss their bodies onto in order to keep them in court rooms, the Right-wing is very fond of idols. In some parts of red county you find velvet pictures of the aryan Jesus, in others you find morbid, slumped body of Christ nailed to wooden crosses made in Communist China.


Don't even get me started on the gross idolatry stirred in righties by "The Passion of The Christ" (made by the alcoholic jew-hating son of a Holocaust-denying Catholic). It was a "revelation" that almost replaced church service for an entire year. Also, do Republicans spend more time ensuring the poor are fed, or that flags aren't burned?Last, realize that idolatry can also come in the form of worshipping ideas more than God. Pop quiz, which is lauded more in right-wing circles, laissez faire or blessed are the peacemakers?



Senior African American GOPs at a political gathering. Main picture is Alan Keyes, a prominent figure in the Republican party and a former presidential candidate.


3. You shall not make wrongful use of the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not acquit anyone who misuses his name.


  Republicans consistently channel their hate into the name of the Lord. Bush, upon hearing from God, convinces a nation of morons that war is actually peace, poverty is actually riches, and discord is actually togetherness.


There is no greater desecration of the Lord's name than the one that superimposes the political will of right-wing zealots over the scripture of God's Kingdom. Listen to the very simple message of Fred Phelps and you will see the most clear example of using the Lord's name in vain.


4. Remember the sabbath day, and keep it holy.


First, we must correct the record: the Sabbath day begins at sundown on Friday and ends at sundown on Saturday. Most Republicans attend church on Sunday. Sad, they can't even get this part right. Second, what is Holy about Fridays and Saturdays for Republicans? Anything? They see a lot of movies on those days.


The bars of red county are full of inebriated fools with full bellies and empty souls. But, where exactly is the elevation of God or the sanctification of practice? Simply put, it does not exist because Republicans do not observe the Sabbath. Maybe they think their Old Testament love for everything Israeli exempts them from the 4th Commandment.


5. Honor your father and your mother, so that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.


Chelsea Clinton and Amy Carter honored their parents by becoming great citizens and keeping their noses clean. By contrast, the Republican kids are a handful. The Bush twins, who are the political equivalent of the Hilton sisters, have hardly honored their father unless "honor" means using fake ID's to get fall-down-drunk before cameras.


Their uncle, Neil Bush, honors his father by costing America a billion dollars in scandalous business deals, having sex with hookers and doing nothing with his life but casting a shadow on his family. In fact, look at almost any unelected member of the immediate Bush family and you'll find dishonorable behavior. The Reagans aren't immune either. Family values? Hardly.


6. You shall not murder.


"How about we just, you know, carpet-bomb them so they can't build a transistor radio?" -Ann Coulter


A rule against murder is like a rule against breathing for Republicans. They're currently working themselves into a wargasm for murder in Iran and Syria, in the same way 9/11 aroused them to penetrate Iraq. They like murder. They like it so much they don't count the murdered in order to prevent anti-murder ideologues from preventing their murder train.


Why did they "liberate" Iraq instead of saving the poor souls being massacred in Sudan? Cuz murder is good and natural. In fact, murder is life and Republicans love life, remember? Sure, they would say that there is a difference between murder (i.e. a black man killing a white woman) and spreading democracy (i.e. bombing the limbs off of children as they draw water from communal wells), but that is only to mask their bloodlust.


7. You shall not commit adultery


Newt Gingrich. Bob Barr. John McCain. Rudy Giuliani. Christopher Buckley. Gary Bauer. Matthew Glavin. Edward Schrock. Bob Livingston. Henry Hyde.


8. You shall not steal.


Republicans steal what they want, when they want, and by any means necessary. They steal wages and rights from America and give it to their friends. They steal from the military, from oil rich countries, and from nature. They even steal little things they don't need, like $1,125.79 worth of personal airline tickets, Mexican flags, farm equipment, and odds-and-ends from Target stores.


9. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.


Like murder, lies are a favored vehicle for advancing Republicanism. Whether its Ann Coulter's repeated violation of literary objectivity, or David Horowitz' chronic invention of facts to prove baseless points; or Bill O'Reilly's habitual lies in support of Bush; or, King Bush's prettying up of pre-war intelligence, lies are an alternative energy source for the GOP bus.


Without lies, they could not gather their idiot legion into a remarkable voting force. Because this is a truism about Republican power, they have perfected their network in a total conspiracy to continually bear false witness.


10. You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or male or female slave, or ox, or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.

  See number 7!


Rahelio Soleil is a commentator on American life. He blogs as American Hot Sausage.


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